Have you ever seen something on tv or the internet and say wow that is so cool, I got to get it when it comes out? Well that's what I said, except I'm willing to prostitute myself for one.....well not really so please don't email me offers. Sometimes you got to do what you got to do to get what you need.
Kanye West would say, "Imma let you finish #tigerwoodswife.... but Chris Brown did the best celebrity domestic violence beating of all time, of all time."
And of course I don't promote domestic violence, this is just comedy so don't get all crazy on me lol. What Chris Brown did to Rihanna was beyond words messed up.
DENVER - Former Bears and Broncos quarterback, Jay "I throw too many interceptions" Cutler has decided to move on from football and be a committed employee at McDonalds.
After his horrific game on November 12th against the 49ers, Jay threw not 1, not 2, not 3 or 4 interceptions, but 5! This is his career high and it doesn't stop there.
Jay is a proud member of the "I suck at life" club and plans on teaching others how to suck at life. Jay has moved to Mexico because after two cities hate him (Denver & Chicago) he felt he needed a fresh start.
Here he is taking a picture with his co-worker. Jay's biggest accomplishment was being #2 twitter trend yesterday. Sadly tho, it was filled with negative tweets of how badly he truly sucks. Jay and Kanye West plan on making a big comeback one day, we all wait to see what they have in store.
Back a few months I went to the bar with a group of friends. A group of chicks walked in dressed up all nice, sat down. They were not far but not close from our table. After noticing their beauty I decided a brilliant idea that I will use and past on to my future generations. I told all my buddies that we were going to order them water shots. Now you are thinking, why water shots? Because they won't realize it's water shots till after they take em and this is a good way to judge their personality. Let's be honest, having a hot trophy girlfriend is great but a chick with personality rocks. So the plan is to get everyone water shots and the ones that thought it was stupid wouldn't get a real shot. The good thing about this too is, our waitress is really cool and we told her what we were doing and she just smiled, walked away giggling.
The waitress walked over there with her tray of 7 water shots and gave them to the chicks and pointed over to our table. The funny thing is, our table also had water shots and we raised them up to cheers the girls table. All of them smiled and one walked over and came and talked to us.
She was like "hey guys I just wanted to come over and say thanks for the shots. It's actually my bachelorette night and I'm with all my bitches haha just kidding, but tonight they are my bitches haha just kidding just tonight they are and..." she gets cut off as her other friend comes over with an angry face and whispers into her ear "these shots aren't real they are water!"
So the girl that first came over sniffs the shot and takes it and starts laughing and said that was really funny. Her other friend was looking like she got ripped off and wanted to leave. So we let them go back to their table and I waited like 5 minutes or so and walked over to their table.
"So listen ladies my name is Jeff and those are my friends. The shots we got you were indeed water. We wanted to see if you ladies were fun or stuck up. Seeing how only one girl was a bit mean about all this, we are buying all you ladies real shots of Tequila....except your friend that came over and whispered they were fake. She look like she was going to slap me or something." These girls were all laughing and making fun of the girl that wasn't going to get the shot.
Ohhh man this was too funny and after it happened, I felt like Albert Einstein winning the Nobel Prize in Physics!
I will never forget the bachelorette's name. She said her name was Hollywood. I called her bluff and said there is no way that her real name was Hollywood. This girl pulls out her wallet out of her purse and pulls out her license. It said Hollywood.
I can't help but posting this after watching the Bears game. Glad to see Cutler get traded. Orton >>> Cutler.
